August 29, 2008 — It all started on this day, the falling apart
Sneha her name was — my school crush. Hormones playing its part.
My first adrenaline rush. Those days — Maturity and Puberty were no art.
Without thinking too much, to her I gave my innocent & decent pumping heart.
While falling for her & fulfilling my desire, I didn’t know I was emptying my own cart.
That day, she without any hesitation & with cruelness, she ripped my soul apart.
Those days, I imagined I could find someone who would call me Sweetheart.
Unfortunately, I had to rest myself in peace and boosted my brain for a restart.
Time passed fast. Intelligence increased very fast but my face made a U-turn.
If I had to troll me — I would say I looked like some burnt ugly bun.
So, usually and casually, I consoled myself saying ‘I have sunburn’
In college, I entered I made good stylish friends, thought I would learn.
In the hustle to impress a girl, single girl once in a lifetime, I started to overturn.
No female found me attractive. No one ever fell for me. It was a disastrous feeling.
I understood that I had to get over it and started doing more faith healing.
No sooner did I find it was impossible to do than I started doing something appealing.
I started to write creative, crazy and weird stuffs even though I was doing engineering.
Some clapped smiling — Some clapped laughing — Some clapped looking at the ceiling.
College ended. It was time for earning, settling, and still, I was finding my girl setting.
I wrote, I wrote more, I blogged, I wrote more, I published books, I wrote more.
My magnificent mind fucked emotional heart as there was no girl soul in my store.
I cried. I sobbed. I was bawling. I stood dumbstruck. I tried lying calm on the floor.
It was not too late when I started thinking negative ‘Every girl is a whore’.
I kept trying. I didn’t want to be that loser but a lion who always roar.
Tinder. Instagram Chat. Messenger. I failed and I asked ‘What for?’
Plenty of girls talked, smiled and laughed at my jokes, went far.
In these years, struggling years, I am sure I have raised my bar.
I felt sad about the sudden reality that I could never be anyone’s star.
Like my color skin, I felt I was a useless helpless coal tar.
I am sorry, I say to myself when I hear no patting sound on my shoulder.
In ruthless life, I have heard more I am sorrys than Thank yous and Love yous.
Today, on August 29 2018
So, tired of listening their sorrys, before they say ‘I am sorry, Bhavik. You could do more’
Today I say to myself ‘I am sorry, Bhavik’, you could not do it. Anymore’
Uncountable Rejections may not make me strong but celebrating it might.
I proudly say ‘I am Unproposed Guy’
Source: http://www.bhaviksarkhedi.com/celebrating-10-years-rejection/ This article was originally published here.