My Name’s BlurryFace [Updated]

With her the lines were blurred

I can hold her hand but I can’t kiss her cheeks

She laughed with me

She cried on my shoulder

But my tears were not for her to see

She talked with me all night long

She called and I picked

Even when my heart was racing just by looking at her smile

She didn’t see it

My eyes which said all I wanted and she looked away

She was the only constant in my changing life

Years and years she held me

Years over years she tormented me

I saw her turn her back on me

And her coming back to me

She clung to me as if I was her life line

But she never said what I was to her

She smiled at me

She held my hand

But she never said what it meant

I kept waiting

And years after years she is still here

Beside me playing with me over and over again

I am still her to keep

But I don’t know what she is to me

I want to keep her by my side in any way I can

So I have her by my side but so far away

I can see her but can’t touch her

I still make her laugh and see the crinkling of her eyes

I still spend night just looking at her when she is sound asleep

She snores a little with her mouth little open

I tell her every night how much she means to me

But when sun comes up I assume the role she assigned to me

Even though I don’t know what that is even after all these years

Hoping one day she will stop from her race to some perfect world

And see me as I see her everyday

I keep hoping that one day she will be mine as I am hers

And one day she will give herself to me as I gave myself to her

One day I will be the one to hold her in my arms and not in my dreams

One day I will touch her face as I make her smile

She will be mine all body and soul

And I know she will be all I will need till the end of time

I had stopped the time so I can be with her

I am still at the same place I was so many years ago with her

She keeps running and running

And I am still standing waiting for her to come to me.

I ask myself what is more beautiful than her

Or the idea of having her

Is it love that I am craving for?

Or it is just the idea of love that I want to have

Maybe I will only find it out when I will have her

Until then I will wait and be whatever she wants me to be

She says she is gold hearted

But to me, over the years I have seen her every aspect

That I want to tell her that she is more than that

I have seen her warmth and I have seen her arctic antique

How she keeps people at arms-length

How she doesn’t want to be known but yet thrive at the feeling of it

She thinks no one gets her but I know she is an open book

I can read her every emotions, every thought that goes through her brain

It’s on her face

Over the time I realised that I lost myself

I was so invested in her that I don’t know what I want for myself

I left myself at that highway where she told me she doesn’t want to end things between us.

Things stopped for me from that moment

This article is originally published here

My Name’s BlurryFace